Friday, August 12, 2011

It's hard out there for a pimp!!!

OK Boys (and girls...and boys who are girlie...and girls who are..wait...) it's honesty time. We've all been on a gay cruising site: Adam4Adam, Manhunt, etc. Whatever your reasons...I'm not judging...

So lately, I've found myself less turned on by the pictures and I am absolutely astounded by what people put up to sell themselves as someone I would want to spend a brief period of time wrestling around with in a vat of Vaseline. I'm not talking about the pictures of just a penis...or an exposed and spread rectum...I'm talking about much worse here goes; PJ's list of shit that should never be in your profile pic:

- Children: That does not say sexy...matter of fact, it says registry as in sex offender registry. I don't care if they are your nephews or your children from your sham marriage, I don't want to feel THAT dirty.

- Pets: Again...not says lonely and friendless.

- Your friends (especially your female friend with her face blurred out): Unless it's a couple, looking for a third, I don't want to see a picture of your friend kissing your cheek. I'm sure you can find a solo picture of you with that great douche-bag smile on your face.

- Dirty...ANYTHING: Finger nails, athletic shorts, furniture, walls, dishes, unmade-bed. Again, this does not say sexy, it says poor hygiene and the last I checked, good hygiene was one of those things I looked for in a person I wanted to make out with. The only exception is if you have one of those dirty jock fetishes...and if you do...we should not be talking anyway.

- Random Douche-bag things: Fake flower leis, sombreros (especially mini ones), stuffed animals...oh GOD make it stop...I don't need to see this stuff, none of it says sexy!

- Your tatty furniture: If it looks like your furniture came from the Salvation Army in 1979, and you are not a college student, find a new place to take the picture. It just feels like a bad 70's slasher film waiting to happen.

OK Boys... with these rules in mind, I look forward to seeing you new and improved pictures...happy man-trapping!!!

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