You get more flies with honey.

So I have been reading a phenomenal book for grad school, Management Rewired, about why traditional feedback doesn't work. The best part is that it discussed how you can get what you want more often by asking questions, rather than making demands.

Serendipitously, I also just got smacked with a couple overdraft charges because a bill and a deposited check hit at the wrong time.

I called my bank and stormed around and got ticked off...blah blah blah...and I got nothing. No offer to fix it, no offer to refund the charges, nothing.

So, the next day, I decided to try a different tactic. I went into the bank (to make sure I didn't get the same person on the phone), sat down with a financial services rep, chatted amicable, and asked her to remove the two charges. She did so happily.

It's fun to storm around and be the b1tch. I think deep down, we all want to be feared. We all want to be Alexis Carrington or Joan Crawford (played by Faye Dunaway) scaring the crap out of some board of directors into bending to their will. Ultimately though, it solves nothing.

You are no less strong and formidable, if you smile and ask nicely for what you want. Chances are, you're more likely to get it.